If I were teaching this semester I might have had to send this out:

FAQ for my students: The Rapture

My favorite part:

Q: What if my instructor is raptured?
A: None of our instructors bear much chance of being judged worthy. However, on the off chance your instructor is chosen, an army of unemployed secular Marxists is waiting to take his/her place.

In case you were wondering, as an atheist I’m safe and enough of a sucker that I’ll take care of the pets of anyone who is actually raptured if you let me know and send me a house key 🙂  I won’t even charge you.