“We’re not nurturing and sweet, dammit, we’re ornery and crabby and disobliging and we bite.”  Ophelia Benson on the myth of the prehistorical matriarchy.

I once lost a BIG job (VP of information technology at a community college) in part because I was insufficiently feminist.  The head of the college (a woman) asked me how I had dealt with being a woman in a traditionally male field.  She didn’t like my answer, which wasn’t especially touchy feely.

What I think she wanted: “It’s been hard.  I use my unique differences, however, to build bridges and broker compromise.  And bring lawsuits as necessary.”

What I said: “I don’t put up with their crap.  I give as good as I get and I don’t overreact to things that are not purposefully harmful.”

I would be in such a different place now if I had gotten that job.

Anyway, I love Ophelia’s line above, because frankly my identity as a feminist does include biting.  Far too many women take offense or get their feelings hurt by things rather than standing up, not taking it and fighting back.

However I have noticed that over the last few years there have been small things that irritate the feminist deep inside me. 

  • Why is it Obama, Edwards, McCain, etc, but Hillary?  I don’t THINK people are stupid enough to think it’s Bill running.  Or if we’re all feeling worried why don’t we try talking about Barak and John for a while and see how that goes.  Oh wait; that could get confusing.  It’s better to be overly familiar to the woman….
  • Why is it OK for Buckcherry to call a woman a bitch (a crazy bitch to be precise) but get bleeped for saying fuck.
  • Why are most of the “new years weight loss” ads targeted at women?  Not like there aren’t plenty of fat guys.  (And a side note:  Most of those women are perfectly attractive, well put together and acceptable.  Why is it OK to send the message that they aren’t???)

I’m sure there are more, but I’m running out of brain cells for the evening….